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Anyone can become enraged once in a while. But if you feel rage boiling within almost constantly, or rage erupts from you frequently, you may have an organic illness. On the other hand, you might have suffered some terrible injustice as a child. One major, but largely ignored, category of such abuse is that of boys emotionally, physically, or sexually damaged by women. This abuse is not only widespread but may be at the root of much subsequent abuse of women by men. A little boy abused by a woman suffers in similar ways to a little girl abused by a man. In recent times it has become acceptable for women to speak out about the abuse they suffered as children; most men feel no such permission is given to them about the abuse they suffered as little boys at the hands of women. These men are ashamed, and enraged. They are enraged because society accepts that men can be angry but there is less acceptance for the male victims' feelings of hurt, fear, inadequacy, guilt, embarrassment, and especially weakness and vulnerability. A male victim smothers these emotions with anger. In this way, he preserves his masculine image. But the cost is enormous. A man unaware of the deep sources of his anger will, at the least, have troubled relationships with women; at the worst, he may rape and mutilate. A male victim of childhood sexual abuse by women displays the following behavior as an adult: >> Distrust of women. >> Fear of intimacy. >> No separate identity. >> Readily feels guilt. >> Hard time to accept compliments. >> Holds back emotions. >> Protects abuser(s). >> Sexual difficulties. >> Seeks abuser's approval. >> Constantly apologises. >> Fearful. >> Eager to care for others. >> Joyless. (Adapted from Blanchard, 1987*) The lousy feelings often erupt as rage. Ronald sought professional help to change his vicious behavior toward his wife, Helen. Ronald would arrive home disgruntled after a disappointing day (every day was disappointing) in the architectural office where he worked, and an hour's drive to the suburb. Before long, he would be kicking Helen. There was always some pretext for the kicks. (Helen did not have supper ready, or she was on the phone, or she wore a dress he hated...). Ronald never used his fists. Always his legs. He despaired of his uncontrollable rage because he believed that “Helen was the best thing that had ever happened to me.” As Ronald talked more about his life, his hostility to almost everyone became evident. He was jealous of his brothers, sneered at their choices of wives, hated his job where he felt put upon, especially by female colleagues. When Ronald spoke about his mother, he whined. Long stories of how she favored one or other of his brothers, how he cringed in her presence, how he avoided visits to her house yet was jealous of her contacts with his siblings. Ronald was convinced his mother preferred one of his nephews, adding bitterly, “Though my son was the first grandchild.” Hypnotherapy Heals the Hurt and the Rage Within the comfort of hypnosis Ronald was able to connect his present-day woes with unpleasant incidents in his childhood. This was accomplished with what hypnotherapists call an “affect link.” You allow yourself to feel a particular emotion, such as grief. As you continue to experience the feeling, the hypnotherapist asks you to recall an earlier time when you felt the same way. Ronald's confused mix of bitterness, rage and sense of abandonment, swiftly drew up a memory of his mother: “I'm six years old. Mummy keeps telling me I'm her favorite. She tells me to come into her bed. It's warm there. I fall asleep, snuggled beside her. I wake up. She's moving my leg up and down over this hairy place between her legs. She's breathing funny. I'm scared. [Sobs]. She opens her eyes a little and tells me it's okay. My knee is wet. I try to pull away but she holds onto me, tells me to be a good boy, do this for Mummy. She seems out of breath. I'm scared. Then she shakes and cries out. I'm even more scared and I feel bad, like something's really wrong. I ask Mummy if she's all right. She turns to me with a big smile, hugs me and says I'm her little man and everything is fine. [More sobs, reddening of face]. “But everything is not fine. I don't understand. Mummy tells me this will be our special secret. She seems happy. And she likes me best. So I keep quiet. And whenever she asks me I let her use my leg to rub her where she wants. [Later Ronald described other sexual activity his mother initiated]. I begin to like it, too. When I get old enough to have an erection, Mummy plays with my penis. I really like that. But at the same time it feels kind of weird. This stuff went on till I was eleven. I found out at school what sex was supposed to be, and how bad it was what Mummy and me had been doing. I felt sick.” With psychotherapy while he relaxed in hypnosis, Ronald made some progress toward a healthier life, and control of his rage. Unfortunately, his wife sabotaged the treatment. Ronald, like many sexually abused victims, had (unconsciously) sought out a woman who would continue the abuse he had suffered as a child. Helen had made no secret of her broad sexual experience prior to meeting Ronald; indeed, she was proud of it. But her knowledge of the carnal world and his relative innocence (sex with only one woman: his mother) repeated the power pattern Ronald had suffered as a boy. When Helen saw that Ronald was learning to control his rage, to lessen his hostile attitude and to relax, she counterattacked. Helen had married Ronald because (unconsciously) she wanted a man she could dominate and despise. His therapy threatened to upset the delicate dance of danger they had created. Ronald was swiftly reduced to a sniveling, angry puppet when Helen sneered at his progress and repeatedly reminded him of what a Mummy's boy he had been. A final blow bounced Ronald out of therapy: Helen telephoned the therapist, discussed Ronald's history, and insisted the therapist not mention her call to Ronald. The following week Helen casually mentioned to Ronald something the therapist had said to her. Ronald felt betrayed [he was] and never returned to therapy. You may be doing very well with hypnotherapy when a friend or relative sabotages your progress. This is not usually as dramatic or underhanded as Helen's behavior. The disruption comes in the form of doubt. Your friend may question the effectiveness of hypnosis, and cite the many hypnosis myths that still pollute our minds. Once doubt is planted, hypnosis ends. Doubt and fear keep us from relaxation. And relaxation is the route into hypnotherapy. Dennis, like Ronald, suffered fits of rage. Unlike Ronald, Dennis took these fits out on himself. He would tremble, and shake, and sweat and fear he was about to pass out. Dennis knew his ambition to become a police officer would never be realized unless he got over these fits. Like Ronald, he had troubled relationships with women. Unlike Ronald, Dennis had slept with dozens of women. All his longer-term relationships collapsed over an aspect of jealousy, his or hers. Didn't matter. Dennis could not trust a woman. Dennis deliberately sought out a male psychotherapist who sometimes used hypnosis. But so scared was Dennis of going into hypnosis, that he spent several sessions in traditional psychotherapy before he had plucked up enough courage to try hypnosis. Mothers Are Not The Only Women Who Abuse Little Boys As far as Dennis knew, he had not been molested by his mother. Actually, he was not even sure who his biological mother was. He had been born into a large, extended criminal family. He had lived in seven different homes by the time he was five. All but one were homes of his aunts, cousins or siblings. He got used to calling each aunt in turn “mother.” The woman listed on his birth certificate showed no more, and no less, maternal interest in Dennis than did any of her sisters who raised him. From as far back as he could remember, Dennis had been abused: abandoned, ignored, ill-fed, beaten, locked in a closet. The therapist helped Dennis sort out the multitude of feelings that swirled within him. Finally, Dennis said he was ready to try hypnosis. He was still frightened, despite the therapist's explanations about the safety of the process. But it was not hypnosis itself that Dennis feared; it was what might be uncovered. In one way, he was right to be wary. But what was uncovered, awful as it was, freed Dennis from the last symbolic chains that linked him to his abusive family and their criminal ways. In hypnosis, Dennis traced his attacks of trembling to some disgusting sexual behavior of one of his aunts when he was about four. What she had done to him and with him amounted to torture. It had been so horrible he had repressed the details for years, though “I knew something had happened; I just didn't know what.” Now that he knew what lay at the root of his rage and his attacks, Dennis was able to let go of them. He felt forgiveness for his aunt because he knew of her own dreadful background. It was as if to know what she had done liberated Dennis from any lingering loyalty to his criminal relatives (all of whom were involved in drug deals, prostitution, extortion, etc.). Now Dennis felt fully comfortable with his decision to apply to the local police training college. *Blanchard, Geral. (1987). Male Victims of Child Sexual Abuse: A Portent of Things to Come, Journal of Independent Social Work, 1-1, 19-27. cheap penile enlargment penis enhancement operation does penis enargement work guide to pennis enlargement safe penile enlargement vimax buy penis enlargement pills herbal natural penile enlargment penile enlargement surgery
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If you’re about to have a baby, no doubt the subject of circumcision for a boy baby has entered your mind. Circumcision is a personal choice – but, of course, it’s one that you’re making for another person- so you tend to feel a fair amount of pressure to make a good decision. Here are some things to think about that might make your choice easier. In the US, the majority of boys are circumcised, though the numbers are declining somewhat. In other parts of the world, most non-Jewish boys are not circumcised. The difference seems to be almost entirely cultural. There is really no right or wrong answer here, but I think one good guideline is “like father, like son”. The father is most likely the person who will teach the boy how to handle his personal hygiene in this area, so taking Dad’s personal situation into account might be a good way to make the decision. My husband is circumcised, as is our oldest son, but our younger son is not. He was not circumcised when we adopted him at ten months, and we chose not to add the trauma of circumcision to his life, considering all the other adjustments he had at the time. My husband had to do some research on the subject to feel prepared to teach our son the proper care of an uncircumcised penis. Our son is six, and at this point, has never asked about the difference between his penis and his older brother’s and Dad’s. One thing to consider about circumcision – it is a decision you need to make early on. Part of the reason we chose not to have our younger son circumcised was the fact that, at ten months old, it would have been much more physically painful than if he had been circumcised as a newborn. I’m sure it’s no walk in the park at any age, but do realize that if you don’t have your son circumcised right away, it might not be wise to change your mind a few months down the road. A final note about circumcision- not all penises are the same. Some boys have much more foreskin than others. If your son has only a small amount of foreskin, your doctor may refer to this as a “natural circumcision”, and recommend that you not have a circumcision performed, unless it is for religious reasons. This means that your son’s foreskin is not likely to cause hygiene issues, nor will it be prone to infection, as are some uncircumcised penises. It’s wise to talk to your doctor before you make a decision about circumcision. It’s a decision that you need to feel good about, and worth the time it takes to sort out the facts. herbal natural penis enhancement cheap vigrx pill vimax do penis enlargement pills work penis enlargment surgery photo penis enargement drug vimax do penis enlargement pills work penile enlargement fact free pennis enlargement exercise free penis enlargment technique
KNOWING ROSACEA Rosacea is a disorder of the blood vessels. It is a common skin disorder. Approximately 48 percent of the world population suffers from Rosacea. However, Rosacea is one of the most misunderstood states of the skin. FAMOUS PERSONS SUFFERING FROM ROSACEA If you are having Rosacea, you are then in the august company of eminent persons. A few of the noted personalities suffering from Rosacea are JP Morgan, WC Fields, Cameron Diaz, Bill Clinton, Prince Harry of England, besides the late princess of Wales and mother of Prince Harry – Diana. ROSACEA SYMPTOMS The common symptom of rosacea is transformation of the skin color into red. The body portions most affected by rosacea are the cheeks, nose and forehead. At times, such redness and flushing of skin can also spread to the ears, scalp, chest or the neck. As Rosacea progresses, the reddish tinge can turn into a permanent condition. There can also be a marked visibility of the small blood vessels particularly at the skin surface, stinging or burning skin sensation, eyes turning gritty and reddish, and pus-filled or simple bumps that appear red. Among these severe symptoms are bulbous noses. The maiden rosacea symptoms are nagging redness which is often wrongly attributed to cleansing, exercising or temperature changes. SIMILAR SKIN DISORDERS Many confuse rosacea with seborrheic dermatitis or/and acne vulgaris. Mentionably, rosacea can co-exist with acne vulgaris and seborrheic dermatitis. THE ROSACEA VULNERABLE SECTION It has been generally noticed that the people with fair skin are the most vulnerable section with reference to rosacea. Therefore, rosacea does have a hereditary strain. Those having a descent from the Celtic or the fair-skinned European stocks are genetically inclined to suffer from rosacea. Notably, both the sexes can fall prey to rosacea. People of all ages can be affected by rosacea. It has also been noticed that people in the age group of 30-50 are easily affected by rosacea. Nonetheless, women in their middle ages are the most vulnerable section of the populace. The reason is, of course, menopause-abetted hot flushes. However, rosacea symptoms are more severe with reference to men. CAUSES OF ROSACEA There is no unanimity among the medical researchers as to the exact rosacea pathogenesis. Nonetheless, there is a concurrence in views insofar as to the cause of rosacea. Rosacea occurs when stimuli repeatedly dilate the blood vessels, and as a result of which the blood vessels get damaged. The damaged blood vessels dilate rather easily. Besides they either remain permanently dilated or stay dilated for a considerably long time. The consequence is redness of the affected portion and its flushing. ROSACEA PAPULES OR INFLAMMATORY PUSTULES The papule or inflammatory pustule can be I the form of a boil, or a pimple, or an eruption for that matter. In rosacea (papulopustular), the mediators (inflammatory ones) as well as immune cells ooze out from the skin bed that is basically micro-vascular by nature. This, in turn, leads to the inflammatory pustule or papule. OTHER CAUSES OF ROSACEA Various conditions can also lead to rosacea. One thing is for sure: strenuous movements cause blushing and flushing. A few of the situations where such flushing or blushing can be formed are as follows: Stress, cold weather, acute sunburn, and extreme heat exposure especially from the sun. Rosacea can also be caused by sudden changes in temperatures while traveling, or in heated rooms especially in winter. FOODS CAN ALSO CAUSE ROSACEA Certain food items that contain very high quantity of histamine have been identified as responsible for the eruption of rosacea symptoms in many people. Similarly, spicy food besides alcoholic substances can definitely trigger off rosacea. MEDICATIONS TOO CAN LEAD TO ROSACEA Several topical irritants and medications may at times cause rosacea. Take for example several drugs people take to hide wrinkles or to deal with acnes. Among these chemicals those particularly responsible for causing rosacea are tretinoin, benzoyl peroxide, isotretinoin, microdermabrasion, and certain chemical peels. Obviously, one should immediately stop the use of any such irritants the moment any rosacea symptoms appear. INDUCED (STEROID) ROSACEA The term ‘steroid induced rosacea’ points to such rosacea symptoms that are caused by steroids, particularly nasal and topical. Notably, these types of steroids are generally prescribed for patients suffering from seborrheic dermatitis. First aid: In such circumstances, immediately consult the physician. Moreover, one should begin the medication discontinuing process over a period of time. Decrease the dosages slowly. Else there may be a flare up of the rosacea symptoms. MITES & BACTERIA CAN CAUSE ROSACEA AS WELL A considerable number of rosacea people have been found to possess the species of mites known as demodex. This is more so the case with those people who have rosacea from steroids. Mentionably, the presence of a large number of these demodex mites can only cause rosacea. But, they cannot by themselves cause the rosacea condition. The demodex mites will have tom act in conjunction with other factors to be able to trigger off the rosacea states. Bacteria, especially the intestinal bacteria, can cause rosacea. These intestinal bacteria reside in our digestive highways. This is a neurological dysfunction. Such rosacea conditions can erupt after the intestinal bacteria activate the plasma kakllikrein-kinin system. THE KAKLLIKREIN-KININ SYSTEM The kakllikrein-kinin system or the kinin-kallikrein system or just the kinin system is a not well delineated structure of blood proteins. The blood proteins have a major role to play in causing pain, coagulation, control of blood pressure and inflammation. Mentionably, the major mediators of the kinin system are bradykinin and kallidin. Both of them act on different cell types. Both are vasodilators DIFFERENT FORMS OF ROSACEA Researchers have identified four forms of rosacea. Each of these subtypes can have its typical symptoms. More importantly, one person can have more then one of the subtypes at the same time. THE ROSACEA SUBTYPES The four rosacea subtypes are Ocular rosacea, Phymatous rosacea, Papulopustular rosacea and Erythematotelangiectatic rosacea. OCULAR ROSACEA Ocular rosacea mainly affects the eyes. The Ocular rosacea symptoms are burning and itching besides sensations as if there are foreign bodies within the eyes. When anyone is affected by ocular rosacea, the eyes and the eyelids turn dry and red. Irritation of the eyes and the eyelids is also very common. PHYMATOUS ROSACEA Phymatous rosacea affects the nose, ears, cheeks, forehead, chin and the eyes. Phymatous rosacea is also linked with the nose enlargement dysfunction called rhinophyma. Another disorder closely connected with phymatous rosacea is the visibility of small blood vessels near the skin surface. Other symptoms of phymatous rosacea are appearance of irregular surfaces on the skin and which may be also accompanied by nodularities. The skin can get thick as well. PAPULOPUSTULAR ROSACEA Many confuse Papulopustular rosacea with acne. However, Papulopustular rosacea remain reddish while acne do not. The common Papulopustular rosacea symptoms are papules (red bumps) filled with pus. Such bumps are called pustules. Papulopustular rosacea papules with or without pustules generally dissolve within five days. People having Papulopustular rosacea usually have permanent redness of their skin. This state is described medically as erythema. Another symptom of Papulopustular rosacea is they tend to flush or blush quite easily. Moreover, the patient can also have burning or itching sensations. ERYTHEMATOTELANGIECTATIC ROSACEA Erythematotelangiectatic rosacea causes the small blood vessels to appear rather prominently near the surface of the skin. This typical state is known as telangiectasias. TREATING ROASAEA There are various treatments for rosacea people. The strategies vary depending on the acuteness and the rosacea subtype that a particular person may be suffering from. Hence, there can be different treatments for different persons suffering from the rosacea symptoms. Hence, the dermatologists opt for the sub-type-directed method to diagnose, analyze and treat rosacea. LASER TREATMENT Laser treatment in dermatology is variously known as Broad spectrum (Intense Pulsed Light), or Single wavelength (Vascular laser). Laser treatment is one of the most popular treatment methods of rosacea. In laser treatment, light is made to infiltrate the epidermis. The light hits the skin’s dermis layer. It targets the dermis capillaries. The oxy-haemoglobin gets heated up after it absorbs the light. The process heats up the capillary walls till 70 degree centigrade. This heat destroys the capillary walls. The damaged walls are then absorbed by the body via its defence mechanism. CO2 LASER TREATMENT Focused thin beams of CO2 laser are manipulated to defocus or cut (as scalpels) the tissues. Then these tissues are vaporized. CO2 lasers are used to get rid of the excessive tissues formed by phymatous rosacea. In this method, our skin directly absorbs the CO2 lasers wavelength. SIMPLE STEPS TO TACKLE ROSACEA (i) Gentle skin cleansing regime Always deal with the skin gently and lovingly. Go for only those cleansers that are non-irritating. (ii) Shielding skin from sun Never venture out in the sun-bated beach sans protection shields. Regularly use sunscreens. Choose such a sunscreen that consists of a physical blocker agent. Such active blockers are titanium dioxide or zinc oxide. (iii) Trigger avoidance It is important to maintain a diary of the foods and the climatic or other factors that generally lead to rosacea. In fact, The National Rosacea Society promotes this habit. This approach also goes a long way in identification and reduction of the triggers. Moreover, trigger avoidance is ideal to control the onset frequency of rosacea. But, all alone it cannot check rosacea. Nonetheless, the mild rosacea attacks can be effectively checked if a patient avoids the factors that triggered off the rosacea symptoms. One can get flushing after consuming red wine or food items having high quantities of histamine. Then, go for antihistamines. Some common antihistamines are loratadine or cetirizine. (iv) Eyelid hygiene Eyelid hygiene is especially recommended for persons complaining of eyelid infections. Practice eyelid hygiene frequently. Here are some easy eyelid hygiene steps. Gently scrub the eyelids daily; You can use baby shampoo in a diluted form; Or, you can also opt for any across-the-counter eyelid cleaner. Apply the cleaner in warm compresses. But, mind you, never should it be hot. Carry on the practice several times in a day. MEDICATIONS (ii) Topical & Oral Antibiotics To get instant relief from the rash, redness, inflammation, pustules and papules, you can go for topical and oral antibiotics. An effective topical antibiotic is metronidazole. Similarly, ideal oral antibiotics are the tetracycline antibiotics. Some examples of tetracycline antibiotics are minocycline, doxycycline, and tetracycline. The oral antibiotics are rather effective in treating ocular rosacea symptoms. Isotretinoin is generally given to patients who complain of persistent pustules or papules. However, there are several side effects of isotretinoin. Therefore, isotretinoin is prescribed only in acute situations. It is also given to treat acute acne. Nevertheless, for patients suffering from phymatous and papulopustular rosacea, low dosages of isotretinoin have been delivering the goods. BETA BLOCKERS OR α-2 AGONIST The commonly used α-2 agonist is clonidine. It is helpful to deal with blushing and flushing. But it has side effects. One can feel drowsy or/and one’s blood pressure may also plummet. So, to neutralize this effect, one can use monoxidine as an alternative. Monoxidine has lesser side effects. But many do not find it as effective as clonidine. Propanolol is an ideal beta blocker. It is akin to α-2 agonists. And, it has been found to be effective in dealing with recurrent social blushing rather than the general rosacea flushing. 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