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Why is it that men cheat? Brad Pitt was married to the woman idolized as everyone’s best friend Jennifer Anniston and the next thing we know he’s coming out of a mud hut in Namibia carrying Angelina Jolie’s 2 children. Hugh Grant was with the most beautiful woman on earth Elizabeth Hurley and the next thing you know the police find him in the back seat of a Chevy with a hooker who looks like Marvin Hagler wearing a wig. Elizabeth Taylor has been cheated on by so many husbands that she needed the pain medication more for her depression than for her aching back. The classic example was Marilyn Monroe who was treated like Kleenex by more Presidents than George Bush. Why do so many Presidents have names that sound like female sexual organs? How many organ grinders does it take to change a monkey? It seems like having supernatural beauty, fame and success drives men to cheat. How could this be? Why are men running away from the women most desired by hordes of men?
Barbara Holdmee works in the web cam business in Amsterdam. She nude video chats with strange men all day for $4.99 a minute. According to Barbara, “I used to be a high school English teacher. The hours were long and the pay was lousy. I learned that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and teenagers are from Uranus. But this web cam business has really opened my eyes. When you watch Tucker Carlson on television men seem so intelligent, so sophisticated. In the nude video chat sessions you get to see what men are really like. Before nude chat I seduce the men by chatting in a negligee. All day I listen to a constant stream of instant messages from men like “Show me your rear end, show me your boobs, oh BB you’re so hot, and Oh yeah BB. Why do men feel the need to put on this air of sophistication in public? Why can’t they be themselves in public? Why are married men spending an average of 7 minutes a day engaging in sexual relations with nude models over the internet? Who threw Natalie Wood to the sharks? Could the reason that men cheat simply be that in truth they are just wolves in sheep’s clothing, evil liars?”
Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychiatry had a long term affair with his mother. He cheated on her with his sister. Dr. Freud divided the human brain into the ego and the id. There is so much id theft on the internet now that identity theft has become the leading industry in Africa. In the past week alone I have inherited over $356 million dollars from total strangers overseas. I have more parents and grandparents than the descendants of the Messiah. How are there so many paintings of the Messiah when the Gospels do not contain one single word of description of Jesus Christ? Which species was created by a Jewish born Rabbi whose best friend was a hooker? Had Jesus lived to be 85 the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel would be decorated with paintings of a long bearded black hatted black coated Hasidic Rabbi Messiah and Christianity would never have gotten off the ground.
Speaking of the Bible Eve has been smeared for 3,000 years for giving Adam the apple. This Bible story is symbolic. The one eyed snake who told her to do it was Adam’s phallus. The penis is the root of all evil. How else can you explain the level of promiscuity in Africa when the obvious cure for AIDS is monogamy? How else can you explain the male stampede for Viagra and Cialis when these drugs are known to cause blindness? Does everyone believe that they will die tomorrow and so there is no need to consider the consequences of their actions? Fortunately Merck has just invented a vaccine for cervical cancer and the human papiloma virus. Get down! Get down, get down, get down, get down, get down tonight baby! “Why dost thou seeketh to be that which thou are not?”
Most men have a body, a mind and a soul. Lets look at the body first. A good example would be Michelangelo’s The David. Dr. Freud said that men have a sexual thought every 3 seconds. This would explain the Holy Trinity. With the constant production of semen going on in the testes and the male reproductive drive to keep our species going men are unto coitus machines careening out of control.
Now let us look at the human mind. The id is the part of the brain that constantly wants food, sex, money etc. In the old days the strongest cave man just beat the object of his desire over the head with a wooden club and then dragged her into a cave and raped her before lighting up. There were no $200 dinners where the cave man pretended to like her.
The reason that men cheat is the male ego. The male ego is the root of all evil. The male feeling of desire and lust and infatuation and desire to conquer the woman and the newness feels exactly like love only it is infinitely stronger. This is why prior to the conquest men whisper such endless baloney into our ears. “Oh my God you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life. I could care less about sex. I love you for your personality.” The micro second that the man ejaculates inside of you without a condom because his passion was so overwhelming and his promises that he was in perfect health were so convincing it’s all down hill even for the Holy Wood starlets. This is because the woman will never again be able to give the man the one thing he wants most in life – the conquest of her - the need in the male mind to say to himself and to his locker room buddies, “Yes, I nailed her!” Nailed?
Every single woman that I know today is engaged in internet dating. If a woman has the slightest flaw, like no jaw for example, or God forbid a crooked nose, men have an endless supply of internet sites and internet women to replace her. The fantasy is better than the reality but the reality is worse than the phobia.
Now let us examine the spiritual reasons that men cheat. According to the famed psychiatrist M. Scott Peck M.D. in his books “People of the Lie” and “Glimpses of the Devil”, in addition to the holy white angel spirit in every person all of our bodies are also containers for evil spirits that resemble the alien monster in the movie Independence Day. Inwardly we are all monsters who sacrificed our first born children alive by fire as the drummers beat their drums loudly to drown out the terrified screams of our burning babies which we sacrificed to the God Baal, Beelzebub, Satan on fire altars in Gehenna just south of Jerusalem for thousands of years up until 2,000 years ago on a planet 5 billion years old. Our ancestors were murderous freaks and we are their clones and this is the reason men cheat.
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The holidays are touted to be the time of year to be joyful and most of all have fun and spend time with family and/or friends. For some, however, the holidays when families and/or friends gather to celebrate and share the joy of the season are not joyful. Because family matters are conducted behind closed doors this 'unhappy event' goes unnoticed and the victim of this cruel experience takes its toll. I speak of the unspeakable—sexual child abuse.
Countless children are abused at family gatherings. While everyone is talking, laughing and having a good time, beloved Uncle Lewey, Grandpa or family friend, walks out of the living room (ostensibly to go to the bathroom) but instead goes into his niece's/granddaughter's or family friend’s room, where she is 'hanging out.' He nonchalantly chats with her and before she realizes what he is about to do, he has planted a kiss on her lips and forced his tongue into her mouth and/or fondles her breast. He then tells her she is so sexy he couldn’t stop himself, she is very special and it is their secret or he threatens her that if she tells he will say she is a 'liar' or worse yet, she 'came onto' him. Thus, she is forced into silence and shame.
While I realize this scenario is difficult to fathom, it is all too real and all too frequent. However, this scenario doesn't need to end tragically, something can be done to prevent or mitigate it. No one is born a molester, yet all too often victims become perpetrators. Sexual child abuse has become a family tradition-Uncle Lewey was abused by his father, mother, uncle, cousin or aunt and now he has abused his niece. Or grandpa was abused by someone and he now has abused his granddaughter.
How, you may ask, can this be possible when so many people are around-no one would risk being seen sexually abusing a child? Unfortunately, this rationalization merely avoids accepting the truth about sexual abuse perpetrators. It only takes a second to abuse a child. Furthermore, few people recognize what constitutes sexual child abuse. Sexual touch—a sensuous or ‘wet’ kiss on the lips, touching or fondling erogenous areas cause as much trauma as genital contact. All sexual abuse and/or sexual touch is damaging because it is first and foremost a betrayal of trust.
PREVENTION is possible. However, for a child to be able to prevent this experience, she or he needs to have knowledge of and permission to exercise self-protection. Without knowledge of and permission to exercise self-protection, the only defense a child has against any kind of abuse is to accept the blame. A child cannot conceive the idea, "My father, uncle, mother, grandpa, grandma, aunt, brother, sister, cousin, friend, teacher, or baby-sitter is sick and is harming me." Therefore, the only way to survive sexual abuse or incest is to assume that it is his or her fault. A child has unquestioning trust for everyone in the family or persons of acquaintance or authority.
Parents generally teach girls to be passive, compliant, non-assertive, co-operative and reward them for doing so. Girls are raised to be 'quiet, sweet and pretty' they are never to make a 'scene.' It is not surprising then, that girls are (according to statistics) twice as likely to be sexually abused. Perpetrators know who and how to target their victims. Boys are taught, expected and praised to be tough and self-assured, even at times when something troubles them. Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior usually means passivity while boys usually 'tough it out'-thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur.
Self-protection offers a direct and effective way to empower children to help themselves. Since perpetrators cunningly and with forethought sets the stage to perpetrate this crime in secrecy, who is better able than the child to protect him or herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize; they sense this by the child's demeanor, body language and facial expressions. They sense the fear, the helplessness, their compliant attitude and their passivity.
Perpetrators choose victims who they assume will keep their secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators.
The first response the majority of people form when hearing of sexual abuse or incest is denial. 'I do not have to be concerned about that in my community. This would never happen in my family.' The unbelievable reality is that a person who sexually abuses children may seem very average and ordinary to the world. He or she may be a leader in the church, in the community or in business. He or she does not fit a classic stereotype and is not necessarily uneducated, unemployed, impoverished or an alcoholic. Furthermore, we find sexual abuse and incest even more difficult to believe or accept when the person we like, admire, love, and/or marry is the perpetrator of the abuse. Tragically, the unwillingness to accept the facts concerning sexual abuse perpetrators leaves children vulnerable to becoming victims and increases the likelihood that they will be abused.
'Traditionally, incest was defined as: sexual intercourse between two persons too closely related to marry legally--sex between siblings, first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters. This dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not completely describe what children are experiencing. To fully understand all sexual abuse, we need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond between the victim and his or her perpetrator. Thus, a new definition has emerged. The new definition now relies less on the blood bond between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of the child. Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required.
It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator's age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated. (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors)."
Sexual abuse can be as subtle (covert) as any person showing pornographic pictures or movies to a child. It is any man hugging a child while pressing his hard penis against her. It is anyone consistently invading a child's privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her unaware and indisposed. It is playfully pulling her swimsuit bottom down in the pool or pulling her panties down without her permission. Sexual abuse is anyone bathing the child when the child is old enough to bathe herself. It is any person who touches or caresses the child in ways she does not like or in ways that are sexual. It is any man holding a child on his lap when he has an erection. It is any trusted adult who stares at or makes comments about the child's body. It is anyone kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver. It is seemingly innocuous touching, wrestling, tickling, or playing which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person. Sexual abuse is as blatant (overt) as instructing or asking the child to lie in bed in an intimate position, fondling, digital, penis or object penetration of the rectum or vagina, or instructing a child to perform oral sex or performing oral sex on the child. It is forcing the child to touch others or be touched by others, including other children.
A classic example of covert sexual abuse while people are present is exemplified by a 39 year-old woman who came to me after having a severe panic attack. During our investigation as to what was the root cause of the panic attack she revealed she had been sexually abused when she was nine by a 'nice man,' who was a family friend. "He helped me on with my coat while attending a family gathering. As he adjusted my coat onto my shoulder, he fondled my breast." This type fondling is often times referred to as 'coping a feel.' No matter the label, it is sexual abuse and causes damage. As an adult woman you know how icky it feels when a man 'cops a feel.' Can you imagine what it would feel like for a nine-year-old, who has no information to comprehend and emotionally resolve what she experienced?
Overt sexual abuse is openly sexual and apparent. Although there may be an attempt to deny that it is abusive, there is no attempt to hide the fact that it is sexual in nature. Covert sexual abuse is more insidious. Thus, identifying it is harder, because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. The perpetrator acts as if she or he is doing something non-sexual, when in fact he or she is being sexual. The betrayal then becomes two-fold. The child is not only abused, but also tricked or deceived about the act. In this dishonesty, the child is unable to identify or clarify his or her perception of the experience. The unreal or surreal sense that accompanies any sexual abuse is intensified when the child is tricked into disbelief. Thus, the child doubts his or her perceptions and feelings and believes that there is something wrong with himself or herself because he or she feels terrible. To make matters worse, everyone around her or him acts as if nothing is wrong. Thus, she or he feels crazy, as if she or he is the one with the problem.
A classic example of overt sexual abuse while people are present is exemplified by the incident a client, who is a sexual abuse survivor, reported about seeing her father (her perpetrator) kiss her one-year-old niece on the pubic area after her niece had taken a bath. Her sister, the child's mother, the child's grandmother, (wife of the perpetrator) were present. "My sister and mother (the child's grandmother) laughed and I got sick to the stomach. Am I over reacting," she asked. Obviously, her sister and mother are unaware of the definition of sexual abuse. Except for the fact this woman was in recovery and could clarify the experience she would not have considered it sexual abuse either.
The frightening truth about sexual abuse and incest perpetrators is that within their mindset, they do not hold beliefs reflecting society's moral and ethical values. Because of a child's innocence and trust of the abuser, usually pressure or violence is not required. Thus, the sexual abuse or incest perpetrator can unequivocally state, "Never ever. I could never harm a child or anyone. It's not in my heart. It's not who I am." Michael Jackson, 1993.
Sexual abuse and incest perpetrators frequently pass lie detector tests. They feel no inner conflict with what they have done. Their moral and ethical values do not reflect the standards on which the test is based. If you have the slightest cause for concern, trust your intuition and seek professional intervention. Trusting and acting on our intuition or sixth sense is paramount to protecting children from perpetrators, no matter whether they are family members, family friends, doctors, dentists, teachers, etc. When intuitiveness or a sixth sense has been activated in detecting danger, it can be identified by a change in one's physiology.
First: Accept the fact that sexual abuse perpetrators may seem very average and ordinary to the world. In spite of all the reports of sexual abuse by pillars of the community-teachers, clergy, coaches, we still want to cling to the belief that a sexual abuse perpetrator is the disheveled man with a scraggly beard, wearing a dirty trench coat. It is difficult to believe the people we like, admire, trust and love would do such a heinous thing.
Second: Accept the definition of sexual abuse. (See definition above)
Third: Know the signs your child is being targeted: Self-protection offers a direct and effective method for children to protect themselves. Who, other than the child, is in a better position to protect him/herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize. They can tell by the child's demeanor, body language, and facial expression. They sense the fear, the helplessness, the passivity. They chose a child who is easily intimidated or controlled so hopefully the child won't tell. Secrecy is paramount for the perpetrator. Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior is usually passivity, while boys usually 'tough it out'-thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur. Sexual crimes against children can only be committed if the perpetrator finds someone who will hopefully keep the secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators.
There are seven child tested, parent approved sexual child abuse prevention techniques, which will protect your child from the most cunning predators. If you heed and investigate these warning signals you can prevent continued abuse.
Warning signals include:
• * an aversion to a person, place or event.
• * outbursts of anger and there is no apparent reason known for such anger.
• * any unusual or unexplained behavior change. Ceasing an activity that was once done without hesitation.
• * not wanting to be around a particular person.
• * family member/friend seems to foster a relationship with your child more for him/herself than for your child.
• * secretiveness between the child and adult
Fourth: What to do:
• * Teach Good/Appropriate Touch with regard to anyone.
• * Teach Appropriate Body Boundaries with regard to anyone.
• * Foster Self-Esteem and Good Body Image
• * Teach the "Tell Mommy and Daddy Everything-No Secrets rule.
• * Allow your child to command respect regarding dislikes and touch with family members, friends or authority figures.
• * Talk with and listen to your child until you are satisfied the aversion is unrelated to improper behavior by anyone.
• * Check on your child occasionally whenever they are with another adult or other times to become 'known' as an attentive parent.
• * Trust and honor your child's intuitive reactions. If your child feels uncomfortable with someone, respect their intuitive sense—honor their intuitive sense.
• * Appropriate Suspicion—trusting and acting on your intuition or sixth sense is paramount. If you have confusion regarding a person's actions, nagging/persistent thoughts or feelings, hesitation, general suspicion, apprehension, fear, doubt, a hunch, curiosity regarding a person's actions or statements, or questions regarding a person's proclamation that is not substantiated by their actions—trust your intuition or sixth sense.
• * If you err in evaluating the situation, make the error on the side of caution. The important factor is not that you have avoided offending someone, but that you have protected your child's interest.
• * Remember it only takes a second to sexually abuse anyone—child or adult
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Gangster rap, or hardcore rap, is generally considered a sub genre of the larger category of rap music, which itself is a subcategory of hip-hop. Gangster rap is differentiable from other rap music in that it makes use of images of urban life associated with crime (Haugen, 2). According to the Encyclopedia Britannica definition of gangster rap, the top four images associated with the genre are violence, drugs, materialism and sexual promiscuity.
Gangster Rappers as Defining the Hip-Hop Social Group
As the hip-hop movement has gained recognition throughout the United States, it has established itself as one of the fastest growing social groups anywhere. In the late 1990s immediately following the murders of both Tupac Shakur and Christopher Wallace, two nationally known gangster rappers, a propaganda campaign escalated against rap music and the hip-hop culture (Slaughter). Although gangster rap only represented a small percentage of the hip-hop culture at the time, all hip-hop and rap music was instantly stereotyped negatively as being “gangter-like”. Why? Well, this gangster version of hip-hop was the highest selling and most recognized form of hip-hop music among the majority class. And many critics have determined that this is because America is in love with sex, drugs and violence (Whaley).
Hip-Hop’s Rejection of Inferior Social Group Status
Henri Tajfel, a social psychologist who developed a theory of inter-group relations and social change, argues that members of a social group deemed inferior by a majority class can either accept or reject their inferior position in society. If a group refuses to accept its inferior position in society as just, it will attempt as a group to change things (Coates, 8-9). A large number of hip-hop artists have used their musical lyrics to reject the inferior social status placed upon them by the majority class.
The Reconstruction of the Gangster Identity
I have found that hip-hop artists use lyrics, both musical and poetic, to redefine the negatives characteristics given to their culture by the majority class, and in the process, reconstruct the gangster identity. By examining these hip-hop and gangster rap lyrics as text, I will show ways in which the lyrics attempt to reconstruct the stereotyped gangster rap identity by examining different views of violence, drugs, materialism and sexual promiscuity. In the end, one tends to wonder: Who exactly are the real gangsters?
Violence
That the hip-hop culture represents gangster-like violence is perhaps the biggest disputed claim amongst hip-hop artists. In order to disprove this claim, many hip-hop artists have pointed to the violence that exists within the majority social group, and how it leads to violence all over the world. In “Violence”, 2 Pac demonstrates his belief that violence was prevalent long before gangster rap existed:
I told em fight back, attack on society
If this is violence, then violent's what I gotta be
If you investigate you'll find out where it's comin’ from
Look through our history, America's the violent one
Here, the poet points to American society as “the violent one” and that he has to be violent in order to “fight back.”
In “Who Knew”, Eminem showed a similar viewpoint by expressing his belief that violence is a common occurrence in American society, yet not challenged in genres outside of the urban environment:
So who's bringin’ the guns in this country?
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun through customs over in London
And last week, I seen a Schwarzaneggar movie
Where he's shootin’ all sorts of these bad guys with an Uzi
Here, the poet questions the existence of violence in a country that allows firearms and violent movies.
In “Casualties of War”, Rakim blames the United States government, specifically its Head of State, as the group causing the violence in society with their war-like ways:
I'ma get back to New York in one piece
But I'm bent in the sand that is hot as the city streets
Sky lights up like fireworks blind me
Bullets, whistlin’ over my head remind me...
President Bush said attack
Flashback to Nam, I might not make it back
In this text, the poet refers to our country’s decision to go to war as an example of the violence that exists amongst the majority social class.
In “The Watcher”, Dr. Dre redefines the negative characteristic of violence by pointing to the police force as the source of violence, and therefore, referring to them as “gangster-like”:
Things just ain't the same for gangstas
Cops is anxious to put people in handcuffs
They wanna hang us, see us dead or enslave us
Keep us trapped in the same place we raised in
Then they wonder why we act so outrageous
Run around stressed out and pull out gauges
Cause everytime you let the animal out cages
It's dangerous, to people who look like strangers
Here, the poet accuses the majority class of keeping them “trapped in the same place we raised in” and that the perceived violence is only due to the introduction of “people who look like strangers.”
These are examples of how hip-hop artists redefine the image of violence by showing how it exists or was created within the majority social group.
Drugs
Another common disputed stereotype of hip-hop artists is their use and distribution of illegal drugs. In attempts to redefine this negative characteristic, many hip-hop artists have pointed at the majority social group as the facilitator of drug abuse.
In “Justify My Thug”, Jay-Z speaks directly to members of government, raising questions about who has made the availability and use of these drugs possible:
Mr. President, there's drugs in our residence
Tell me what you want me to do, come break bread with us
Mr. Governor, I swear there's a cover up
Every other corner there's a liquor store - what is up?
In this example, the poet inquires as to why there is a liquor store in “every other corner” of his community.
In “I Want to Talk to You”, Nas uses the same approach to challenge the notion of drug distribution by asking his representatives what they would do in his situation:
Why y'all made it so hard, damn
People gotta go create their own job
Mr. Mayo,r imagine if this was your backyard
Mr. Governo,r imagine if it was your kids that starved
Imagine your kids gotta sling crack to survive
Here, the poet claims that the distribution of drugs is not only an effect of the poverty that exists in his environment, but also a means of survival.
In “Manifesto”, Talib Kweli actually accuses the government of being the body which allows drugs into the country:
Like the C.I.A. be bringin’ in crack cocaine bailin’ out of planes
With the George Bush connections, I push Reflection
Like I'm sellin’ izm, like a dealer buildin’ the system
Supply and the demand it's all capitalism
People don't sell crack cause they like to see blacks smoke
People sell crack cause they broke
In this example, the poet accuses the C.I.A. of flying drugs into the country, and again reiterates the point that it is a means of survival due to the “supply and demand” of a capitalist society.
In “Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangster”, the Geto Boys fully redefine the negative characteristic of drug distribution by accusing the President of being a drug dealer, and therefore, a gangster:
And now, a word from the President!
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Getting’ voted into the White House
Everything lookin’ good to the people of the world
But the Mafia family is my boss
So every now and then I owe a favor gettin' down
Like lettin' a big drug shipment through
And send 'em to the poor community
So we can bust you know who
These examples show how hip-hop artists redefine the image of being drug dealers and users by again pointing to the majority class as the creator of the drug problem in this country.
Materialism
Hip-hop music is also seen by the majority class as a genre dominated by materialism. Again, artists point back to the majority class in an attempt to redefine this negative characteristic.
In “Respiration”, Black Star points to all the wealth surrounding urban areas, and how it absorbs the lower class in materialism, making them want parts of that wealth:
Where mercenaries is paid to trade hot stock tips
For profits, thirsty criminals take pockets
Hard knuckles on the second hands of workin’ class watches
Skyscrapers is colossus, the cost of living
Is preposterous, stay alive, you play or die, no options
Here, the poet talks about various materialistic aspects of the majority class, and how the lower class must “play or die” to “stay alive.”
In “All Falls Down”, Kanye West actually blames this materialism on American society:
It seems we living the American dream
But the people highest up got the lowest self esteem
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
For the road to riches and diamond rings
In this example, the poet blames the “American dream” for materialism, saying it causes people to “do the ugliest things” for “riches and diamond rings.”
In “Los Angeles Times”, Xzibit also blames this materialism on the majority class, claiming that is what the youth are taught coming up in urban environments:
Welcome to L.A.
Where you can see the whole city burning
Cause the cops got Uzis and the dealers keep serving
And your kids ain't learning it, except this
Sex power and wealth, forget everything else
Here, the poet expresses his belief that certain aspects of materialism, including “power and wealth” are taught to children through occurrences in society.
These are examples how hip-hop artists redefine the negative characteristic of being materialistic by showing examples of how this materialism is prevalent in the majority class, and often created within that class.
Sex
And the final debated stereotype of the hip-hop social class is that they are sexually promiscuous, often leading to disrespectful treatment towards women. The poets also attempt to redefine this stereotype by blaming the core of the problem on society.
In “Pussy Galore”, the Roots claim that the country’s obsession with sex is pushed by sexually-driven marketing campaigns:
Lookin' out the limo window up at the billboards
200 miles, she was the only thing I saw
Promotin' everything, from the liquor to the nicotine
Cell phones, anti-histamines, chicken wings
You gotta show a little skin to get them listening
For real yo, the world is a sex machine
In this example, the poet retells a personal experience in which he saw sex advertisements as “promotin’ everything.” And in order to “get them listening”, he claims, “you gotta show a little skin.”
In “Get By”, Talib Kweli blames this sexual obsession on what we view on television:
The TV got us reachin’ for stars
Not the ones between Venus and Mars,
The ones that be readin’ for parts
Some people get breast enhancements and penis enlargers
Here, the poet expresses his belief that television creates a misconception of what people should be sexually, and that contributes to the promiscuity that is being blamed on the hip-hop movement.
Hip-hop artists have used their lyrics and poetry to influence the rejection and reconstruction of the gangster identity that plagues their social class. This is accomplished through the redefining of negative characteristics assigned by the majority class. In most cases, these redefinitions include pointing to the majority class as the real holders of these negative characteristics. The redefining of these “gangster-like” images through hip-hop lyrics helps to reconstruct the gangster identity by questioning “gangster-like” behaviors and which social class actually has these behaviors. So the question presented is: Who exactly are the gangsters?
Works Cited / Discography
2 Pac. 2Pacalypse Now. Jive Records, 1991.
Black Star. Mos Def & Talib Kweli are Black Star. Rawkus Records, 1998.
Coates, Jennifer. Women, Men and Language. Longman Publishing, New York: 1993.
Dr. Dre. The Chronic 2001. Interscope Records, 1999.
Eminem. The Marshall Mathers LP. Interscope Records, 2000.
Geto Boys. Uncut Dope LP. Interscope Records, 1999.
Haugen, Jason. “‘Unladylike Divas’: Language, Gender and Female Gangster Rappers.” Popular Music and Society: December, 2003.
Jay Z. The Black Album. Def Jam, 2003.
Kanye West. College Dropout. Roc-A-Fella Records, 2004.
Nas. I Am. Sony Records, 1999.
Rakim. Don’t Sweat the Technique. MCA Records, 1992.
Rawkus Records. Lyricist Lounge Volume 1. Priority Records, 1999.
Slaughter, Peter. “Attack on Rap Music.” Barutiwa Weekly News. June 14, 1997.
Talib Kweli & DJ Hi-Tek. Train of Thought. Rawkus Records, 2000.
Talib Kweli. Quality. Rawkus Records, 2003.
The Roots. Phrenology. MCA Records, 2002.
Whaley, Angela. “Hip Hop is Not for Sale.” Colorado State University’s Talking Back: Volume 3, Issue 1.
Xzibit. 40 Days and 40 Nights. Loud Records, 1998.
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This article is to bring a little hint about Cambodian Law on Marriage and Family into the world’s attention. Throughout the text, from general information up to the analytical approached over the law herein will be covered.
This Law was adopted during the mandate of the State of Cambodia.
I. Marriage Procedure
Unless arisen from mutual agreement to enter into conjugal life, marriage cannot be proceeding. With reference to Chapter III, Article 3; “A marriage is a solemn contract between a man and a woman in a spirit of love in accordance with the provisions of law and with the understanding that they cannot dissolve it as they please.” This article has indirect imply that marriage is a voluntary decision and not decision made on the basis on any form of external pressure (Article 4 “One party may not force another party to marriage against his/her will. No one can be forced to marry or prevented from having marriage ...)
In compliance to general principle of social-order mechanism, the Cambodian Law on Marriage and Family also requires other elements legal just to make any marriage a legal one. In Article 5 of Chapter II states, “A marriage may be allowed for a man whose age is 20 years or more and a woman whose age is 18 years or more.” Except, in the special case that the woman is pregnant with mutual consents from both party, a man and a woman younger than the legal ages may legally enter into a marriage.
However, marriage is prohibited under these conditions:
- a person whose sex is the same sex as the other;
- a person whose penis is impotent;
- a person who has leprous, tuberculosis, cancer or venereal diseases which are not completely cured;
- a person who is insane, and a person who has mental defect;
- a person who was bound by prior marriage which is not yet dissolved.
Moreover, marriage is prohibited when the following conditions come to existence:
A marriage “between persons who are relatives by blood or who are relatives by marriage in direct line of all levels, whether or not legitimate or adoptive” (Article 7); and “Between the collateral, whether legitimate, illegitimate or adoptive, or whether from the same mother, the same father or the same parents, or whether relatives by blood or relatives by marriage up to the third level inclusively...” (Article 8).
II. Grounds of Divorce:
In reflection to Article 3, “A marriage is a solemn contract between a man and a woman in a spirit of love in accordance with the provisions of law and with the understanding that they cannot dissolve it as they please.” The term: they cannot dissolve it as they please shows an indirect implication that divorce can only be made under concrete and legal conditions stipulated within the law.
Like the legal procedure for marriage, divorce may also be made on the ground of mutual divorcing consent.
Pursuant to Article 38: “divorce is the legal termination of a marriage between a husband and wife who have been legitimately married and they are both still alive.” Divorce cannot be entered when any party is deceased, that’s why we have the term divorced and widowed.
Article 39 clearly tabulates the grounds for divorce as of the following:
1. desertion without a good reason and without maintenance of and taking care of the child;
2. cruelty and beatings, persecutions and looking down on the other spouse or his or her ancestry;
3. immoral behavior, bad conduct;
4. impotence of penis; and
5. Physical separation for more than one year.
III. Procedures for Divorce:
Procedures for divorce may be, to some extent, overwhelmingly sophisticated, since it has been of the opinion that divorce does not only bring negative aspects to the parties, but also to the society. The following paragraphs will deal with necessary reason for divorce, jurisdictional court, application procedures and other conditions applied in the divorcing procedures.
Complaint for divorce can be made by one party (husband or wife) or by both parties who mutually agreed to end their bonds of conjugal life (Article 40).
Any party or both party who whish to break legal bonds of conjugal life shall make the divorce complaint a formal one. Complaint to the court, as addressed above, is sophisticated and formal, so writing rather than oral is strongly suggested; moreover, the plaintiff is also suggested to lodge the complaint by her or himself. With reference to Article 42; “The complaint for divorce shall be in writing and shall indicate the reasons for divorce.” It is also suggested that reasons for divorce shall be contented in the divorce complaint; this is to make a smooth hearing schedule and procedures.
However, to whom should the divorce complaint be forwarded to? Article 41 stipulates that “the adjudicating jurisdiction for divorce lies with the People’s Provincial or Municipal Court where a defendant resides.”
Procedures before the hearing As addressed above, divorce does not only affect the divorcing parties, but the child(ren) as well as the State. So, indeed, the Law enacts different strategies for the court to reconcile the divorcing parties.
According to the Cambodian Law on Marriage and Family, the court is authorized to take “reconciliation” for three times, before the final judgment specifying the divorce judgment between the parties is issued. Moreover, during each reconciliation session, report must be radically written down in what we call “reconciliation record.” And apparently, reconciliation strategies deployed to all the three reconciliation sessions are not the same. Article 51 states that “the period between each reconciliation shall be at least one month and at most two months.” And Article 53; “if the reconciliation did not reach an agreement, the People’s Provincial or Municipal court must issue summons inviting a husband and wife to come to the court for trial.”
Due to the fact that marriage cannot be dissolved as the party please, concrete and sufficient evidence must be presented during the hearing to convince the judge to issue the divorce judgment and if necessary, the court may investigate the case.
However, divorce is easy if it is arisen from voluntary and mutual consent of both parties [absence of mistakes or external duress].
Divorce judgment is not one-stop (absolute), the party who does not agree to get divorced his/her spouse is authorized an file an objection or appeal within the legal time frame [usually two moths from the date the judgment is publicly announced].
IV. Effectiveness of Divorce The Law on Marriage and Family does not provide any definition for the term “divorce”, but through my understanding, divorce is a legal rescission of a legal marriage, after the divorce judgment is issued.
Article 69 states that, “a divorce ends a marriage from the day when the final judgment is announced. So as written above, only after the issuance of court’s judgment, does the divorce is considered legal and so enforceable.
However, the case does not only end when the judgment is issued; other cases are also accompanied, such as child or children and properties (movable or real estate). Divorcing parties may share the child or children as well as the property in accordance with their mutual contract or in case of there is no contract, they can just take the property that they own before they share conjugal life. Article 70 states that “if there is no agreement, each spouse take only his or her property which he or she has received by inheritance, gift or devise during the existence of the marriage. The property owned before union existence is called “separate property” and property earned after the marriage is called “joint property”, or “community property.” And this community property may be shared by mutual consent of the parties or court’s judgment.
Custody of the child or children, would facilitate one party to have more property than another party who does not attain the legal custody of the child or children. The party to whom the child or children custodies are not fallen upon, is obliged to provide alimony, as per his or her ability or mutual consent until the said child or children reach majority age (Article 76).
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Erectile Dysfunction is when a man cannot get an erection or cannot keep the erection long enough to finish having sex. You will also this condition referred to as impotency and it can happen anytime during a man’s life however it is more often seen in men over the age of 65.
Many men believe that erectile dysfunction is just a part of growing older, but this is not necessary true. Yes, you may need a bit more stimulation in the way of stroking and touching, just a bit more foreplay than when you were younger. Age should not affect your ability to get an erection and enjoy sex. You may not be able to every day as you did with the mere thought of having sex, but sex should be an enjoyable part of your life no matter what your age.
There are a few physical reasons that can cause erectile dysfunction which include fatigue, alcohol use, tobacco use, brain injuries, spinal cord injuries, hypogonadism, liver failure, kidney failure, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, radiation therapy to the testicles, prostate surgery, bladder surgery, and stroke.
There are also a few medical problems associated with erectile dysfunction, which include diabetes, hypertension, and atherosclerosis.
If you experience erectile dysfunction, you can talk with your doctor to ensure that none of the above problems are occurring which could be at the root of your problem.
Erectile dysfunction can be as much an emotional or relationship problem as it is a physical problem. If you are nervous about having sex, feel stressed, worried about anything, depressed, self-conscious, and even if you feel that your partner is not acting positively toward you it is possible for you not to be able to get an erection.
Just because you have been unable to get a hard-on does not mean that you will not get it up later. You may just need to relax, switch your mind to something else, receive more stimulation and try again.
Treatment for erectile dysfunction can be as simple as performing regular penis exercises that you can find with penis enlargement program. Your doctor can also prescribe medication and if necessary recommend surgery.
For the penis to perform properly it needs blood flow. Exercising your penis can aid in rock hard erections and the more you exercise the better your erections will become. If the erectile dysfunction is not caused from any medial or physical condition, then you should begin exercising and using your penis for sex more often. The old saying, use it or lose it, can also be one reason that your penis is not cooperating. Just use your common sense, if you use to be able to run a mile and now find that you can barely run a block without being worn out. Then think about your penis. At one time, your penis would have more than one erection per day and now you are telling him to wait and only allowing him to get hard once per month. Practice does make perfect. Get that penis back on track with exercise and sexual activity.
